“You’re both successful and happy… but, how?” I hear this question more often than not – so today, I’m taking you behind-the-scenes of my daily life.
Because, yes, you can be BOTH. You can have it ALL (though, you likely can’t do it all alone).
In my longest podcast episode to-date (30 minutes!), I’m taking you behind-the-scenes of my day-to-day life + business, to explain how I “balance” a full work schedule + quality family time, why I run my household like I run my business, and the most important things I do every day to enjoy BOTH success + happiness.
I’ll also talk about…
- How my “house manager” supports my busy schedule
- The most important thing I do to avoid over-commitment
- And how I prioritize 6+ hours of self-care every week – without #momguilt
This episode goes deep into the nitty gritty details of my life, and deeper into some big conversations about working motherhood. So tune in, then head over to Instagram (@emilyhirsh) to share your inspirational takeaways + tell me your own version of this story!
[3:30] 4 years ago, we lived in a 350-square-foot studio apartment…
[5:41] My superpower? House help.
[10:42] QUALITY-over-quantity time with my kids offsets potential #momguilt
[14:35] But honestly, I still struggle to justify anything that’s not “mandatory”
[16:02] This might sound crazy, but here’s what I do every week…
[19:58] Nothing prepares you for the changes that happen when you become a parent
[22:11] I don’t do anything I don’t like doing – and that should be your goal!
[24:37] And now, I’ve made my Dream Life my reality
Please join me on Instagram (@emilyhirsh) if this episode speaks to you – I want to know what you’re going to do differently in your life + business, starting today! Tag me in your stories, share your inspirational takeaways, or tell me your own version of this story!
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Emily Hirsh: I’m Emily Hirsh, and this is The Hirsh Marketing Underground Podcast. Attention, innovators, influencers, creators, and game-changing entrepreneurs: your internet domination begins right here. We are the powerhouse marketers that you’ve been looking for. You’re already making waves in your industry, and we’re here to help amplify those waves of change by creating a connection that cuts through the noise. We take everything you’ve built inside your zone of genius and find its audience.
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Hello, everybody. I am excited about this episode. To be honest with you actually, my team and a couple of people have asked me to just talk about more on a personal level, how I set up my life, how I manage… I get asked this literally all the time, “How do you manage being a CEO of a team of 30 and a mom of two kids, and a wife, and take care of yourself?” I work out, and I’m healthy. Like, “How do you do all of that?”
I get asked that a lot, and this has been sitting on my list for like a month, and I haven’t recorded it, and I don’t know why! I’m like, “What is that resistance?” But I think it’s because I think people don’t care about this, and they’re like… “Why would they want to know?” But really, they do, because every time I talk about it or I share that insight… and I also know when people share that insight about themselves, [people] that I follow, I really appreciate it.
If you’re ever hesitating about that in your content, think twice about it, because I think we think people don’t care, but they do. And somebody who is successful and happy, and people I follow who are successful and happy, and they have… they’re balancing many different things, especially females… I always want to know how they’re doing it, because I can learn from it.
Today, I’m going to give you guys kind of like behind the scenes of my own life. How do I set up my days, my weeks, and manage being a mom, and a CEO, and a team of 30 people, and taking care of myself? This year, 2019, I would say like, I definitely am the healthiest I’ve ever been since having kids. I work out five days a week. I eat really healthy. I go for a walk every day. I meditate every day. I just kind of at the beginning of the year was like, “This is the year that I’m…” [Well] I’ve always been really healthy, I have a passion for health, and so it’s not that I was like, having weight issues or really unhealthy and I like had a huge transformation. That’s not my story, but I definitely struggled.
My biggest struggle was when I had my kids, I wouldn’t eat, so I would not eat, and then I’d binge snacks at like, 3:00 PM in the afternoon, because I’d worked so hard, and I would skip lunch. And in the morning, too, I didn’t have a solid workout routine, until about the last year, so towards the end of 2018… and I’ve been really consistent with it. And so it’s a lot. How do I fit all of that in?
I’m just going to give you guys some… what my life looks like behind the scenes. And my biggest, 100% [my] superpower is the house help that I have, so I’m going to talk about that first. And when I talk about this, before I dive in, I want you guys all listening, if you don’t know my story and you don’t know me, to know this.
Four years ago, I lived in a 350-square-foot master bedroom, literally turned into a studio [apartment] with my now-husband. We had no money, like I know that if I would have heard someone talk about this, I would’ve been like, “Oh, well, I can’t do that. I don’t have that money,” and so it’s not about taking and doing exactly what I do today and implementing that in your life. It’s about getting help and support in the way that you can today, because you can get help and support.
It might look like doing a trade with somebody to help with your kids or whatever, or like a meal service that’s cheaper than having a chef. Be creative with it, and don’t mentally block it out and be like, “Oh, well, I don’t have a multimillion-dollar business, so I can’t do any of this.”
I don’t want anyone listening to it to do that, because I didn’t have that four years ago, and so I had to build upon this. And I’ve built upon it as… the more successful my business has been, the more demanding it is, the more demanding [of] my time [it] is. Yes, the more privileged [I’ve become] and the more help I can get. That’s absolutely true, but I didn’t start that way. And so wherever you are right now today in your business, you can get help in your personal life, and in your home life and family life. It may not look exactly like mine, but it’s about having the mindset that you can have it.
So my home life… and so it’s funny because my friend, Lindsay, she came and stayed with me. And she doesn’t have any kids yet. I say ‘yet,’ because I want her to have kids, but I don’t know if she will. She doesn’t have any kids yet, but she’s amazing with my kids, and she comes and stays with me, and so the first time she did, she was like, “I am just so amazed with how you run your house, and it’s like every piece of your day is like these transitions to the next phase of your day, and you run it like so organized.” I’m like, “That is how I do it.”
First of all, I have house help. I have a nanny who works about 30 to 35 hours a week with my kids, so she works 8:30 to 2:30 and then she does a date night. So I have that, and then I also have a… This is what changes the game. I have a 20- to 30-hour a week, what I call a house manager, and I think I made that title up. I don’t really know, but I made it up, and other people have actually copied it, and it’s like literally the best thing ever.
What she does for me is everything. I have a spreadsheet, and at the beginning of the week, I put in tasks, and so it will be basic stuff like… So first of all, she comes everyday and she cleans. She does basic clean up. She does dishes. She does laundry. She just picks up the house, basically a reset. I go in my office, and then I come out of my office for lunch, and my house is like fully clean. It’s amazing, like the best thing ever, and it makes it so that I’m not spending my evening cleaning and cooking. I’m with my kids, and I’m hanging out with my kids, and I get that quality time.
I put it in a spreadsheet, but I also have her do random stuff, so like, for example, last… a couple of weeks ago, I wanted… We got family photos done. I wanted the new family photos to get printed on canvas to put up on our walls. That would literally take me months to get to, to do that. It just takes me time. So I pulled the photos, and I just gave it to her. She did it. She hung up… She ordered the photos. She hung up the photos. Now, the photos are on my wall. That’s an example of a small task.
I have her schedule me… I have an executive assistant who schedules most of my appointments, but she’ll schedule the kids’ haircuts or sometimes a nail appointment for me, or she’ll call a company about an issue with our bill or something, like stuff that literally, I know you all have it, [it] sits on your list forever. I pass everything off to her, like everything I can think of. I give her organizing tasks in my house. I give her… Here’s a funny one that I had her do.
My husband and I go on a weekly date night, and I was like… We never can think of what to do! It comes around, and we get in the car, and our nanny is there, and I’m like, “What? Where are we going? What are we going to do? Let’s go to the same place for dinner that we like, every single week,” because that’s what we normally do. We find a couple places we like to eat, and we go there every week.
What I had her do was, I had her put together a spreadsheet of over 30 ideas for date nights, and do that research for me. Now, I just go into the spreadsheet when I do my weekly planning, and I’m like, “This week, we’re going to this cooking class, or we’re going to go here,” and so like last week, we did a cooking class, and it was really fun, and it was something I wouldn’t really have found myself, so that’s like random like, who thinks of that?
I do, because I’ve learned like, “Okay. If I’m spending mental capacity on this thing, I’m going to pass it off to her.” And so she did research, like a whole spreadsheet on date nights, and then she also did family adventures, because same thing… It’s Saturday, I have my kids all day, we’re all together. I want to go out. I want to go do something. I want to go explore. It takes time to research that stuff and find the best thing, and so I wanted somebody else to do it, so I put together a spreadsheet, and now I can just pick the best thing on Saturday or the day before, whatever, on what we want to go do. So amazing. House manager. They’re whatever you want them to be.
She also cooks for me. My husband likes to cook, so he cooks his own food for the most part. She’s not cooking dinner for us, but she cooks all of my lunches and breakfasts. And so, I am kind of a picky eater, and I also eat paleo and [it’s] strict. So what I like to do, which you don’t have to do it this way, but I… in my spreadsheet, I have like a house… it’s called, “Hirsh Household Tasks.”
In there, every week, I make a tab, and I put in the food I want her to make, and I will link to recipes or I’ll put notes, and I put that in there for her, and then I put all her tasks for the week in there. And so I do my weekly planning on Saturday or Sunday, and I just fill that sheet out, and then the week is taken care of. And so that way, if you look in our fridge, constantly, I have ready-to-go salads, ready-to-go chicken and rice, like meals [that are] always ready to go, so I never skip lunch, and it’s very easy for me, and it’s healthy food.
That was like… There’s no way I’m ever going to pre-make food on… like I just won’t. I don’t like to cook. I don’t even know how to cook very well, like I just won’t spend six hours on Sundays doing that for myself for the week. And so before I had this, I would just not eat, like I would just eat snacks, which is terrible, like I’d just eat bars.
Before that, I’ve also tried having a chef. I really liked the set-up now where I have one person doing everything, because I don’t really need like chef-level menu, meals, I just need someone who can cook recipes, it’s worked out great. But actually, when we lived in California, I had this person who came and cleaned, and then I also had a chef who made my weekly meals, but I don’t know the chef… I actually like having more control over like, “Here’s exactly what I want,” which you don’t need a chef if you’re going to just hand them recipes, which is what I do now.
My household help is so… I mean, full, like she… I’ve got my kids taken care of all day… And my husband takes over at 2:30 for an hour and a half, two hours, and I keep working. I got my kids taken care of all day and my house gets cleaned every day. My food gets cooked for me. My errands get run, like all that happens, and so when I’m done working… and I finish working around 4:00 these days… I’m just with my kids. We go up in the playroom. We play. We go out. If it’s not a hundred degrees in Austin, we go to the park. Like in California, we used to go to the park every day. So I get to just have that present time with them, and it makes such a difference for me, quality time over the quantity of time with my kids, and so that’s how I offset the mom guilt that I would experience, and I don’t really have it.
I have it a little bit when I travel, like I’ll feel some guilt if I’m away. Especially if I’m away on a fun trip without my kids, I really miss them. But because I’m here and I can go out and see them at lunch, and then when I’m done working, we get like, four solid hours of family time and quality time, I know it’s okay that I work six, seven hours in the day and I don’t have that time. So that’s been really key, which kind of brings me into my next point about the most important thing I do is, I have these set times…
In the morning, I have my morning routine. And it’s pretty long, because I get all of my movement and exercise in during that time. So I wake up before my kids, ideally. They’re not on a set schedule, so sometimes they wake up with me. But I meditate, I journal, I plan my whole day, and I try to read a business book in the morning for at least 30 minutes. Then, I have breakfast with my kids. We eat a healthy breakfast together. I work out. My kids are with me when I work out, and then I go for a walk. When my nanny gets here, I go for a 25-minute walk.
By the time I sit down at my desk, I’ve already worked out for 30 minutes and walked for 25 minutes. My activity on my Oura Ring, which is what I use to track sleep and exercise, is already… halfway met my goal or more by the time I sit down in my office. That’s been the key for me is, consistent morning workouts. Once you do that… and maybe it’s afternoon for you, maybe it’s evening for you… but once you honestly do that for a month or two, you like… I feel off if I don’t do it, because you get like this almost, addicted to it, like you need it to start your day or you’re off, and so that’s been really key for me.
I do all of that in the morning, and I don’t usually sit down to work until 9:30, 10:00. I don’t ever take calls before 10. Then, I’m super focused with my work, so it’s very intentional time. Oftentimes, I’ve planned out every single hour of my day, whether it’s meetings or content. I’ve got my weekly goals, and I know exactly the day I’m doing those and when I’m doing them. And that helps me never over-commit also, because what I used to do is have this huge to-do list. And I know some of you are going to be like, “That’s me right now…” Huge to-do list, never can get it done, because you’re constantly over-committing yourself.
That doesn’t ever feel good, and I never believed that to be honest with you, I was always like, “It’s fine. I don’t care if I don’t get my to-do list done,” like when people would tell me this, and [now] I’m like, “No.” Now, I do care, because I am intentionally scheduling… like if I don’t have six hours to work on content, I’m obviously not going to get 10 podcast episodes done and a bunch of videos this week, so let’s be realistic. And it matters, too, to your team. If you’re going to commit to getting content done, if I’m going to commit to my team that I’m going to record podcast episodes, I need to get them those podcast episodes. And so by scheduling out your days and your weeks like that, you’re not over-committing yourself, and you’re holding your commitments to yourself and your team, and everybody around you, and it’s very important.
Okay. The last thing I want to say… and this has been a change for me this year, so I used to suck at this… and that is, taking care of myself, in other ways besides just eating healthy, but like, getting massages, going to acupuncture, social things, which I still kind of struggle with. But what used to happen for me is, I felt like I could justify working and being away from my kids, and I felt like, “Okay. I can justify, I’m making money for the family. I’m supporting us. I’m creating a great life for us. It’s okay if I’m away from my kids when I work.”
I didn’t really feel the guilt around that too much, because I had that quality time with them. What I would feel guilt over is if I chose to get a massage, go to acupuncture, whatever, like personal appointments, personal self-care appointments, and I chose to do that when I could be with my kids. I still feel guilt over that, like I have a hard time taking away the time that I have allocated and scheduled to be with my kids – which is the afternoon, evenings every day, and the weekends.
What I started doing is, I cleared my schedule two days a week in my business, so Wednesday and Friday right now are clear, I have zero meetings besides our daily huddle. And now I schedule in those appointments during that time, and I don’t feel guilty, because I can take away from work. I actually see it as a thing that benefits my business.
Now, this is going to sound crazy, but on a weekly basis, on a regular week… if I’m not traveling, or if I don’t have like, for some reason, a really crazy schedule… I will get a weekly massage. I will have a weekly acupuncture appointment. I go to therapy once a week, EMDR, and I go to the float tank once a week. I think that’s it, so that’s four appointments. My massage is 80 minutes and acupuncture is 80 minutes, so like an hour and a half [each].
Four different things that I do every week that are like, just personal self-care, which my husband… I actually still think my husband thinks I’m a little bit like, over the top with it, but here’s why I am. I never used to do these. I would schedule a massage, and I’d cancel it, because I’d feel guilty, and I would just be like, “I can’t justify taking away from work or my kids. I’m either working or I’m with my kids. That’s what I do.” And so I would literally schedule these appointments and cancel them, because I was like, “Well, I would rather do this thing instead.”
But once I started doing this, I realized the power of it, and I’m like obsessed with it, like I need that time. Today I’m going into the float tank. I don’t cancel it anymore, even if like… The other day, I had acupuncture scheduled, and I was like, “Man, I could really use the time to catch up [on] this work.” I [had] traveled for two days. I’m like, “No, you’re not canceling it. You’re honoring yourself. You’re going to that appointment.”
What it has done for me, and I think like… Honestly, before, when I struggled with this, it’s because I didn’t need it as bad as I need it now. But with the amount of decision-making and just demand that I have on me from my kids, and from my business, and my team, and clients… like the demand I have just for the brain capacity of decisions, and also space to be able to know… see problems or visions, I know that that space to lay on a massage table for an hour and a half, and that just brain space during the hour that I’m in the float tank doing nothing else, and I’m not on social media, and I’m not connected, and I’m not talking to people, and I’m just in my head… is so crucial for my success.
Now that I’ve realized it, I’m obsessed with it, which is why I have four appointments a week… I mean, that’s six hours a week, of time just doing that. And that probably sounds crazy to you, but I started out with just a weekly massage, and then it’s just increased. And I have some awesome places that I go out here [where] I really like the practitioners, and I’m obsessed with it. My EA schedules all these appointments, so it’s not even on me to make sure they get scheduled. We schedule them a month out. Oh, I also get a blowout. I get my hair blown every week, blown out, so that’s another hour. But I read during that, so I get something done during that. It’s actually not just sitting there thinking, but still.
I have my EA schedule this, and I’m anal about it. And so bottom line, here is what I do. I run my house like a business, and I am obsessed with my schedule, both personal schedule, and business schedule, and work schedule. We have a weekly date night. We don’t miss it. I have Saturday all day with my kids. I don’t usually schedule things over that. I do Sunday weekly planning. I have Tuesday, Thursday team calls. Monday, all-team meetings. Wednesday, Friday is free. Personal development appointments and personal appointments that are pre-scheduled.
I am obsessed with my calendar. It has to be scheduled in advance. I look at it at the beginning of every single week to make sure those appointments are in there where I want them, and I have all of those important things scheduled into my calendar. Time with my kids, time with my husband, time for myself, and then I’m also supported in my house through that house help. That is how I do it all, because I’m not doing it at all. I get the support, and I take care of myself.
I have learned a lot about this over the last four years, because I became a mom and started my business at the same time. For anybody who is a mom or is a parent… I’m not even going to say ‘mom,’ is a parent… you know that that first kid… at least for me. I think a lot of people feel this way, but this is how I felt… Nothing could ever prepare you for the change of becoming a parent, because it changes your entire life. You’re no longer the most important thing. You can argue that, but it feels like you’re not. And your freedom changes, your time changes, and it’s a massive adjustment.
At the same time that I went through that, I had this business that I was starting and [it was] demanding of my time, but also I loved [it]. And so I had to figure out, “How do I not just do business and parenting? How do I also have a life where I’m healthy, and I take care of myself, and I get help?” In the beginning… it took us until my son was 18 months old that we hired our first nanny, and she worked 12 hours a week. That was the start, and I realized how happy my son was with somebody whose main job was to come over and just play with him. He was not like, “Oh, man, mommy is not with me.” He was like, “This awesome person is coming over to take me to the park every day. I love them!” And so that was the start.
I hired that person, and then I eventually got a chef, and then I got that house help, and it was just 10 hours a week I got a house help. I mean, you can find somebody in the neighborhood to come help you fold laundry. This is what I’m saying, like be resourceful with how do you find that help, and you’ll eventually get to a place where you’re not doing anything you don’t want to do, and you’re spending your time so intentionally… because our time is the best… That’s the resource we need to really, really take care of.
It’s the one thing that’s not replenishable. It’s the one thing that you have full control over how you spend your time and… Money? You can make more money, and it replenishes itself, and we… Money? We can figure out. Time? You can’t. And so when you get intentional with how you spend your time… And I was actually talking to someone this week, and they’re like, “What do you do that you don’t like doing?” And I sat there, and I was like, “Nothing. I like everything I do. I don’t do things I don’t like. I don’t go out to dinner if I feel obligated to do it. I don’t meet up with somebody for coffee because they’re in town, and they messaged me, and I feel bad. I don’t do things I don’t want to do,” and that should be your goal.
I mean, obviously… Let me think. Let me actually think if there’s something that I do that I don’t want to do. I mean, there’s things I do, I choose to do that are uncomfortable, but I’m still choosing to do them. I’m choosing to go through that growth period. For example, going to acupuncture and getting cupping, if anybody has ever done that… it’s not really a comfortable thing, because you’re getting… it hurts, I have these bruises on my back from it, but it’s really good for me, and I feel good after. So I do things that are uncomfortable that I don’t really want to do, but I don’t ever set up my life so I hate any part of it.
Life isn’t supposed to be 100% comfortable. I push myself to be uncomfortable, but I don’t do things that I’m like, “That’s not really fun. I don’t want to do that. That’s not contributing to my growth, or to my family’s growth, or to improving the way I feel or my happiness.” So I really don’t, and that should be your goal… your time and your life… because you were in control of it.
I’ve had a hard time staying in contact and really talking to people in my life that were friends with me in high school because I feel like the majority of society who are not entrepreneurs or who don’t see their life as, “you have control over it,” feels like… they just think things are happening to them, and they’re like, “Well, I got to do this job, because I got to make money.” It’s like, no! You can choose to do something that you love to do! You are in control.
If you don’t want to live here, move. If you don’t want this, change it. That’s how I see my life. And I know people go through struggles. I know all of that. I know people will probably disagree with me here, but I really believe, when you fully take control of your life, and your time, and everything about it, and you set the rules, your whole life will change. You’ll be the happiest person ever, you’ll grow, you’ll… It’s amazing. And so that’s what I’ve done. I’ve taken full control of my time. I get so much help in my house. I never do it all.
I just posted on my Instagram Story the other day… I think this episode is my longest one yet! I just posted on my Instagram Story the other day when I was traveling for work. So I’ll go on a couple of days… I was at a workshop, and at the same time, it was funny, I got a text that morning. I got a text from my nanny, and it was pictures of my kids at the Children’s Museum, painting, and she was just giving me an update. And then I got a text from my house manager, and it was like, “Hey, I made you this, [it’s] in the fridge,” and like “Here’s where I put it,” whatever, because I was coming home that night, so she was making my food, because I put it in the spreadsheet when to make it, and it was at the same time, and I’m like, “This is so cool.
I’m sitting here in a work conference, learning, bettering myself for my business. My team is completely running everything for me in the business. I’m fully present at this event. I got up this morning. I meditated. I worked out. I wasn’t feeling like, in between the event I had to catch up on email. Everything was taken care of, and at the same time, back at home, my husband is working on what he loves to do. My nanny’s got my kids at the Children’s Museum. They’re in heaven. They’re painting. They’re happy. And my house manager is cooking me food so that when I get home at 11:00 PM tonight, tomorrow morning, I’ve got a healthy meal to eat.”
I almost could cry right now saying this, because how amazing is that? If somebody said that to me four years ago, “That’s going to be your life,” I would be like, “Are you crazy? That’s like a dream,” but I have created… I’ve made my dream my reality, and you can, too! I wasn’t planning on this being this inspirational [episode], but I want you guys to see that I do what I do, and am happy, and healthy, and well-rounded, and “balanced”…
I don’t believe there’s a thing, a certain “balance,” because everybody’s balance is different than others… but because I made it that way, because I set the rules, and because I asked for help, and I don’t try and do it all. I don’t try to be everything to everyone. I do what’s best for me, and my family, and those people in my top priorities, and I live through that, really, really do.
I sat there during that moment. I took screenshots of like, “This is how I travel, guys,” on Insta Stories, and I shared that with everyone, because I was sitting there like, “This is so cool,” and I’m just like learning, bettering myself, and all this stuff is happening around me and getting done, and my life is improving, and taken care of, and… because I asked for it, because I set it up that way.
All right, you guys. Enough is enough. Hopefully, that was helpful. I think people are going to like… You guys need to hear this. You need to hear this. Bottom line, take control of your time. Be obsessive with how you spend your time. Get help in whatever way that means for you. It doesn’t have to mean exactly what my help looks like. I’ve custom-crafted what my help looks like in my life to what I need. It’s going to be different than what you need and what you want, and if you’re a parent and a business owner, take care of yourself. Like make that time, because it will pay off so much. My business does the best, it’s the weirdest thing, it does the best, it grows the most, it’s the least stressful when I have all of these self-care appointments and time for myself. It’s amazing. It’s crazy.
All right. Let me know on Instagram. That’s what I want. I want you guys to let me know on Instagram what you thought of this, your biggest takeaway if you’re going to change something in your life. Tag me, @emilyhirsh. Message me. I want to hear from you guys. Thanks so much for tuning in.
Thanks for listening to The Hirsh Marketing Underground Podcast. Go behind the scenes of multimillion-dollar ad campaigns and strategies, dive deep into The Hirsh Process, and listen to our most popular episodes over at HirshMarketingUnderground.com. If you loved this episode of the podcast, do me a favor and head over to iTunes to subscribe and leave a review so we can reach more people and change more lives with this content. That’s all for now, and I’ll catch you next time.