Update & Transparency from me

Today’s episode is coming at you chock full of transparency. These past few months have been filled with important lessons, valuable experiences, and much needed change. 

..and this last week? You guys, this last week has been completely transformative. 

If you’re anything like me – constantly on the go, at capacity always, stress upon stress, living in a state of controlled chaos – then take a deep breath and listen in. These lessons I’ve been learning are for you, too.

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READ THE EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Emily Hirsh:

A lot of times our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. So my level of urgency and proactiveness is also a huge strength of mine and my business success. I also think it’s going to prevent me from getting to the next level as a leader and as an entrepreneur, because that is always gonna have a ceiling. You can only handle so much stress.

You are listening to the Not For Lazy Marketers podcast, episode number 447.

Hello my friends. Welcome back to the podcast. Oh my gosh, I never miss podcast episodes, but if you haven’t noticed, and I’ve gotten a few messages where people are like, What’s wrong with your podcast? I didn’t release episodes last week. And I really, I could have gone back and I could have pulled like recordings or pulled old ones and still released them. But I, a few things. I’m recording this episode as kind of just like an update, but I’m also just sharing. It’s gonna be one of those episodes where I kind of share just like transparently some takeaways and lessons all good. But just some things that I think could be helpful perspective for you guys. And I’ve been in just like a massive, transformational month. It feels like it’s really been the last 90 days, but the last month/last week a lot.

 And I’m, I’m excited to share and I sat down to record this episode and I was like, Okay, should I go the route of like marketing strategy and give you a tactic? But I feel like I need to do this first. And you know, it’s fitting that it’s coming out on my birthday. My 28th birthday is October 20th. So I feel like it is a good timing to share, kind of like a, just a reflection episode and it’s gonna be one of those that I didn’t, I don’t really like, prepare and have a bunch of notes for. I’m gonna give you the real me as if we’re just sitting in front of each other right now having a conversation. So if you don’t enjoy those or you only want marketing tactics, you can skip this one and I’ll be back to that next week.

 So first of all, my business has grown very quickly in the last 90 days. We’ve over now doubled our client roster and I’ve been very heavily still involved in delivery, trying to train like some awesome, amazing team members. And I’ve been really committed this time around to making sure I don’t like to move too fast and step out too soon because the quality of our delivery is so important to me and I think it’s more important than marketing, honestly. And so I’ve been really involved in setting that foundation and really it takes at least 90 days to fully train someone and get them to my standard. And obviously there’s still growth that happens after that, but I feel like it takes a real commitment for that long to get it to that place. So I’ve been busy doing that and been busy in client strategy calls.

And last week I just got to a point where I was like, I gotta prioritize all these other things and I didn’t record the podcast. On top of that, I went to an event last weekend. I just got back last night at like 1:00 AM. I went to an event, an event with my friend George Bryant. If you guys don’t know who he is, he’s amazing. Just an amazing all around human but also entrepreneur, marketer and leader. So I went to his event in Montana and I fell in love with Montana. I’ve been to Colorado and I know how much I love the mountains, like the mountains are my home. And I knew going to Montana, I told my husband as I was leaving and I was like, I’m gonna wanna move there. Like, just a warning. I know when I come back I’m gonna be wanting to move there and I do.

I really want to. And we are going to probably in the next year.. my goal is to probably buy some property there and build a house and keep our house here in Austin. So we have some stuff to do to make that happen, but it will happen. And once I get my mind set on something like there is no other option. So I just absolutely fell in love. With the area I was in Whitefish, Montana, which is at the base of Glacier National Park. So I went to George’s event and then I stayed an extra day and I went on this huge hike in Glacier National Park. And if you know me, you know, like hiking, I call it my church. It’s any time I’m doing something like hiking or if I’m wake surfing or wakeboarding, it’s these moments where I’m just fully present.

Like you can’t think about anything else. You don’t have any distractions, you don’t have any demands on your time or your attention and you’re just fully present. And for me, hiking is that, Plus you’re in nature and it’s my church. I love it so much. And so yeah, I drove into Glacier National Park and I went all around the park. So it was like a really long drive, like two and a half hours. And then I did this 12 mile, like 3000 elevation gain, absolutely insanely stunning, breathtaking. Like the whole time I was like, holy shit. Like this is unreal. I put some footage on my Instagram if you guys care, you know, are interested in that and drove back. And so that whole day, like for 10 hours I didn’t have service and it was the best.

Like I had no service on my phone. It was the best end to my week. And so I wanna share some takeaways and some things with you guys because I think that it might help you guys cuz a lot of you are like me and I’ve had some massive really exciting transformation in the last week, but it’s been kind of building up over the last 90 days. So I am somebody, somebody and you, and if you know me, you know that I live in chaos, in controlled chaos. And I like it and I thrive on it. I think I thrive on it, right? Like that’s a story I tell myself. And I don’t even realize how intense it is until I step away from it and I create this like constant thing where I’m going like a hundred miles a minute constantly.

And, and the amount of demands on my attention and like, the only way I can describe it is like, it feels like my body is like taking up three notches of anxiety. But I live that way like normally. So it feels normal to me to be like, you gotta do this and you gotta do this and you gotta reply to this person and you gotta go to your Instagram and open this and do, like, you guys probably relate to that of like the, the grind, but not even like the working hard grind, the constant like the chaos, the overwhelm. But it becomes so normal that we don’t think anything of it. And I feel like that’s normal life. What happens when you’re in that place is if something happens, like let’s say your Facebook ad account gets shut down or someone sends you this massive refund request or a chargeback, or your team quits or like whatever it is, something happens, it sends you from from that you’re already at like a 10 and it sends you like spiraling, right?

Like off the chart and you feel like that’s normal. It’s like, why wouldn’t I get upset about those things? Why wouldn’t I do this? Right? But here, here is, here’s the experience that I had in the last week. So I live like tha. Like even when I go on a trip, normally like I work and so, or I’ll take like a couple hours off and then I’m back on and I’m replying to slacks and I’m replying to Voxer and I’m replying to email and I’m, I’m on and I’m really, I don’t take breaks. And then it becomes this addiction to where when I stop working at, you know, whatever time my nanny leaves, which is normally 4:30 every day, I have the hardest time being mentally present. Like I can physically be there with my husband and my kids, but my mind is like, you gotta do this tomorrow and don’t forget about this.

And oh shoot, what if this happens and it just doesn’t stop? And then what happens is I get mad at myself for doing that cause I’m like, you’re such a bad mom. Like you need to be more present and you, you know, like you’re failing. And I get in this cycle. So I was on this trip and at first, I’m like laughing at myself, walking you through this. So on Thursday I got there the day before and I had like these extra days to try to hike. Well of course me on Thursday I had planned a webinar, a full on webinar, plus I had two client strategy calls plus like regular stuff in my work. Like, cause I didn’t take it off, right? And it was insane. Like I was so exhausted and tired by the end of that day because doing a webinar alone, if you, if you like, have done that, I did the slides like the night before, it was my best webinar, crushed it.

 We did like a 14% live sales conversion to our new offer. But anyways, so I was so tired and I went and hung out with my friends that night, George who was there, and I was just like, Oh my God, like this sucks. I’m so tired. And so that would, that’s like every day for me. So then I go into the event on Friday and at first I’m like trying to keep up with slack in the breaks and like open my phone every once in a while and respond to stuff and like, you know, that fear and especially if you have a team, you’ll understand, but that fear of like, what if I don’t see this and then I don’t reply and then that person needs me and then like I, I might miss that email and I might miss that direct message and, and duh da da da da, right?

And it’s like a hundred miles an hour. So I was in that, I was in that on Friday, but the event was really good. So I was starting to pay attention to the content and usually I actually don’t go to a lot of events because I find like 10% of what’s taught is actually valuable so I don’t go. But the content was really good and I didn’t wanna miss things cuz I was actually getting a lot out of it. So slowly what happened on Friday was I started to go like whatever, I’m just not gonna reply to that. I’m not gonna listen to that Voxer message. I’m gonna let my slack sit with unread 20 messages. My email is piling up. And it got to this point where I just was like, Okay, like it’s there and I’m just, I’m here, I’m in this.

So I went through the event Friday, Saturday, Sunday basically like that where I just dropped everything. Like I left my Voxer with a bunch of notifications, completely unread. I had probably like 50 messages on Instagram because I had done a webinar and I had sent people there. I just left them my slack, my email, and I just left it right. And at first it’s really uncomfortable. And then by the end of the weekend I went into Monday and I was like, there’s no way I’m not taking this day and going hiking. Like I’m not coming to Montana and not going for a beautiful hike. So I got up early and I spent an hour prepping like a few urgent things and I messaged my team and I was like, Look, I’m out of pocket today. Make the decisions you need to make, do what you need to do.

You have the authority to do that. I’m not, you’re not gonna be able to reach me, I’m not gonna have service and I’ll be back later to check in on anything urgent. And I left for the day. And throughout the, the, that day I think it was like this perfect kind of completion to that weekend, I just was hit with so much. Like number one, when you do this, when you actually step away, like I’m not talking about going on vacation and get a break, but then work throughout the day or in the morning or the evening and be obsessing about not missing a message, not missing an email. And you know, I might listen to what I’m saying right now. I might have listened like two weeks ago and been like that. I’m not doing that. But I was doing that like cuz it was constant, it was an addiction.

And I realized as I was hiking, like I always get when I need hiking, like it’s either a message or an inspiration or it’s just something. And so, cause I’m in my mind, right? And I was hiking and I just realized like, you know what, I’m not that important. Like all these things that I think are so critical and so urgent. Who cares if I go one day and I miss some messages and it maybe slows my team down, or somebody gets mad at me because I didn’t reply fast enough or whatever happens, I don’t care. Like, it’s not that important. It’s not that urgent, it’s not that critical. Like yes, I still obviously need to be in my business and need to work hard and need to do all those things, but that shouldn’t come on above having time to, to think and having time to breathe and be truly actually present.

And so as I was hiking, I just realized like, my gosh, all this stuff that I just constantly put so much stress around and urgency around. And a lot of times our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. So my level of urgency and proactiveness is also a huge strength of mine in my business success. I also think it’s going to prevent me from getting to the next level as a leader and as an entrepreneur, because that is always gonna have a ceiling. You can only handle so much stress. So by the end of that day, I was so calm and like so present and even then, I even got back that night, like really late and I, and I chose to go hang out with friends instead of go work. And it’s like I, I could’ve been really stressed and I’ve been like, oh my God, I’m missing out on all these things.

And here’s the thing, you guys, everything was fine, like everything was fine. My team was able to handle things like, yes, there’s things I’m needed for. Yes, I missed my podcast. Yes, on Tuesday, yes, there’s emails waiting for my team to review from our marketing team. Yes, we had to push our promo for a couple of days because they needed me to look at things and make this video. But in the big scheme of things, who cares about all of those things out? It should not come at a cost for my ability to be present. So here’s where the magic happened. Then I come back and it’s Tuesday and I get up and I do a couple team calls and I’m like, what is going on? Like, I feel so different, I feel so calm and this, this that happened is gonna be a pivotal thing in my entrepreneur journey.

I was so excited about it and just felt so amazing. So I get into it, my team and two of my team members are having issues with each other and there’s like some conflict happening, light conflict, normal stuff just triggers. And I could see it kind of playing out. And normally you guys, normally what I would’ve done is I would’ve said, You’re right, that person’s wrong. This is the way we’re gonna do it. Move on. Like that would’ve been my initial reaction. I would’ve seen no problem with that. I would’ve almost seen that as my role. Instead, what I did was I said, let’s get on Zoom. I got on Zoom with both of these guys and I was there for an hour with them. I had both of them share how they’re feeling, like what’s coming up for them. And I walked them through this whole experience, being able to see things from each other’s perspective and essentially like, I don’t really like this term.

I don’t know why I don’t like it. I probably look into why and reflect on that, but I don’t like the term hold space, but that’s what I did. Like, I just, I didn’t do, it wasn’t me. I didn’t do anything else besides just listen and empathize and help them through that and get them to see things from each other’s perspective and also get them to see that each other’s like held the space for them to see that each other’s reactions to what was happening was not their fault. You know, it was like the other person’s own reaction. It wasn’t theirs to own. So we spent an hour together and by the end it was like the transformation between them was amazing. They were like, Thanks so much for your time, Emily. I can’t believe you stayed on the song with us.

And I was like, Thank you guys, thank you for giving me the chance to have this experience and to realize that I can do this when I’m in this place. And I just like that whole, the whole day yesterday I would get like a message and it’d be like, this is urgent. And we’re like, we need to do this. We need this thing, we need this credit card so that we can pay for this so that we can move forward with this. And I just was like, so calm. I was like, you could drop a bomb on me right now and I wouldn’t care. Like you could tell me like you’re getting sued or like this is happening. And I’d be like, Okay, we’ll handle it. And that is magical and I’m, I still feel it. And so then leaving, I was like, I, and my commitment is I don’t wanna lose this.

I don’t wanna lose this place I’m in. And I know that in order not to lose it, I need to have daily stillness practice. Whether that’s meditation, whether that’s breath work, whether that’s sitting outside and thinking for 20 minutes for an hour, whatever it is, and have something that I’m committed to every day, that is actually a top priority for me. And I have had many amazing coaches, amazing friends tell me like, Emily, you gotta do this. It’s so amazing. Like, this is so important. And I would do it, cross it off the list, check it off in my habit tracker. But I never was like truly doing it from a place of like, this is the most important thing that I could be doing and it’s gonna come before my workouts. It’s gonna come before starting work in the morning. It’s gonna come before replying to messages.

It is the most important thing I’m gonna do because here’s the, here’s my biggest takeaway and my biggest lesson. I have a couple of them. Number one, in order for me to take this company to $10 million, which I think we can skyrocket there so fast, if I can stay in this state, My friend was like, Emily, it’s absolutely insane what you’re able to create in the state of chaos that you live in. Like imagine what you’re able to create not in that state. So number one, in order for me to take the company to that level, this has to be top priority because I can’t handle the pressure and the responsibility and the liability and all of the stress that comes with getting to that level. If I’m not in the current state that I’m in right now, it won’t even be possible. And when I look at all my successful friends, all my like eight figure business owner friends, they all do this.

And not only do this though, like embody it, like they live in this calm, present place. And I really know now that that’s because the reason they can create that success is because that creates tolerance to be able to handle things that you can’t create when you’re not in that place. So that was the first thing. And that, that’s like one of my biggest takeaways and I’m turning 28, so this year is gonna be the year. And I, you know, I’m almost like saying it out loud to, to hold myself accountable because for some reason I’ve had just the hardest time with this because I don’t see it as productive. And it’s like sometimes it’s like five minutes, like really you can’t even take five minutes to sit there and be still and and actually just disconnect. And I think sometimes we need a full reset, which is kind of what I got.

The second big takeaway that I had from this event that I think is gonna be a catalyst for a lot of things is that it wasn’t something that was said by a speaker or was taught at the event. I am somebody who I’m really introverted, and I think that I come from a place that I’m afraid of vulnerability in, in why I’m introverted. Like I’m afraid to, to put myself out there and, and be like rejected or judged and I’m very judgmental of myself, which also sometimes translates into being judgmental of other people. And so I think I have this energy about me of like, I don’t like you, I’m too good for you type of energy. And I don’t mean to, but it comes off because I’m really quiet. But also like I have like, I have this powerful energy about me, so I’m quiet, but I come off as powerful.

So then I kind of come off like a b.  Throughout this I was watching George and I like, not even what he said, I was watching the impact that he had on people and the interactions that he was having and the transformations he was helping people have. And there was one point we did this breath work. And so like the event was like so cool. It was like a mix of business and personal development and like transformation. And so, but we had like this optional thing to do, breath work Sunday morning and if you’ve ever done breath work, like not just sit there and meditate, but like serious breath work where like your whole body is like tingling and you’re like a little dizzy. It’s like cra it’s insane. I’ve done it a few times. So he did this, he led this breathwork session and it was amazing for like so many people, very transformational, huge release afterwards instead of even listening to people’s takeaways, I sat there and I just watched him in awe.

And I thought to myself, I want to be a leader who can have that impact on people. And the only way I’m gonna be able to do that is if I turn inward and I focus on radical transformation myself and I prioritize my own growth, but not in the way of like, check this box, read this book, take this program, listen to this podcast. But truly sitting with myself and healing what needs to be healed to be that next level person. And so watching him, I was so inspired and I just, I, I watch and I’m like, I want my team to feel as inspired as his team does, to work with him to get that transformation, not that transactional, like, you do things for me, you cross things off, that’s cool, but like truly he cares so deeply about people and connects with them and is vulnerable with them and it creates this just this impact where he like creates this.

I don’t know, it was magical to watch. So after the breath work, when I watched him just know exactly how long to give someone to talk to know, like just how to connect with them and, and just create that space, I was just in awe and I was like, I, I’m not there. Like I, you, you might feel like I have an impact and I have an impact with my information that I give, but not with how I show up and how I put myself out there and how I connect and how I can just be present. And so I came home today and I was talking to my husband about it all and just sharing all this. And then the final kind of lesson that I said is right now in how I feel and how present I am and how grounded I am, and these are words that I’m like, I don’t, I wouldn’t normally even use them, but they feel so true.

Like they feel it, I feel it in my body. The other thing I said I’m absolutely done with starting today is any sort of negative, judgemental to myself or others, gossip, complaining, talk like I’m done. And I used to be like, I, I used to literally last week like have issues around this where something would happen. And I don’t like saying this cuz I feel like the judgment will come back. I’m like, well, she’s a jerk, but maybe you guys will relate. I have such high criticism in my own mind, which is a repetition of my past voices. And I have such insane criticism that like, I don’t even notice it, right? So I’ll criticize other people or something will happen, somebody will mess up or somebody will do something that I deem is quote stupid, which is just an opinion. And I will be so judgmental about it, I’ll be like, Oh my God.

Like, are you kidding me? This freaking idiot? Why can’t you be like me? Like, it’s terrible, right? But it’s so negative. How is that gonna attract the team? I want the clients, I want the business, I want the life I want. It’s not, And so I told my husband today, I’m like, I’m done in our conversations, in my conversations with my family, with my kids, with my team, because I’ve fostered this. So I have people who come to me and are like, Oh my God, like can you believe da da da, I’m gonna shut it down because I don’t even want that. And I realized, like when I was watching George, I was like, he never does that. And if you talk to anybody who knows him, they just are like, he’s so amazing, da da da. And I’m like, I don’t think that everybody would say that about me.

You know, I, I so that energy and it like, it’s just such a low feeling. It’s like, it’s not, it’s not positive. It’s not uplifting. And so last night I was flying home and I texted George and I was like, What have you done to me? I’m literally smiling at strangers. Like normally when I go on a plane, I don’t talk to anybody. I put my headphones in, leave me alone. Like, and I still probably won’t have like a bunch of conversations with people, but I was coming off with this like different energy and I’m like, what is happening? So going into a new year for me, my birthday, and I’m almost recording this because I wanna go back and listen to it in a year on my plane ride home last night I wrote a Future Me kind of like letter. And I said like, it’s October 20th, 2023 and here’s where I’m living in Montana.

This is how I feel. This year’s gonna be a big one for me, you guys. And I’m so excited. I am excited not even for the accomplishments to get to a revenue level to do xyz. I’m excited to be so present and at peace in my life and with my kids and with my family and with my team and to just trust that that’s gonna take me wherever I need to go to create this success and will go to create even more success than I have. And I’m really committed to a daily stillness practice, whether that’s, and it’s gonna change what I do, whether that’s meditation, whether that’s literally sitting outside by myself for 10 minutes and just staring up at the trees. Whether that’s breath work, whether that’s laying on the ground and thinking like whatever it is, complete stillness. And what I’m done with is any sort of negative judgmental conversations with myself or about others.

I’m also done with the addiction to constantly being on because I promise you, I challenge you to turn off your phone for a full day, a day, especially a day. Like it doesn’t count on a weekend a day where you feel like you have all these things you have to do, you have to do them, you gotta get them done. Or else I challenge you to say, not today. Today I’m doing nothing. And see how hard it is. But then see by halfway through the day and by the end of the day how you will relax and go, Oh, all those things, they weren’t actually that critical. They weren’t actually that urgent. Everything’s fine. Everything will go on, everything will be fine. Your business will grow. And this I know without a doubt is how I’ll get to that next level. And it’s not even like that’s my motivation.

My motivation is to have the impact I’m truly here to have. And I have a lot more work to do. I mean, this was just like one thing, but now I’m open to it more and excited for it. And I can’t describe the feeling of just ease that I feel like truly, I feel like someone today could be like, you have a huge bill that you didn’t even know you had or whatever, one of those entrepreneur bombs that get dropped when you are. And I’d be like, All right, we’ll handle it. It’s fine. And that’s what you need to get to the next level because when you don’t have that, it feels like you’re in hell with the stress and the chaos that you create because you, your nervous system can’t handle one single more thing or you’re gonna explode. And I didn’t even realize I was living in that so badly until this weekend.

So, all right you guys, this was a long episode. Thank you for your patience with me not having a podcast the last few days. One of my goals is actually to get way ahead on the podcast and then I’m gonna take a week off and step fully away from my business for a full week because I was so, like, I just stepped away for like two days and a weekend and I haven’t, I haven’t stepped away in that way. Like usually when I go on vacation, I still work sub I wanna fully take time to, and actually my challenge for myself is to do it at my house, to be home <laugh> and to take time off because that, I have never done like a staycation for me to do nothing at my own house. Like with work on a workday with my nannies here. I’ve never done it in my life because I, I wanna work, I love working and it’s fine, but it gets to a point where it’s not productive and the work needs to happen with the thinking. So, alright, you guys, send me a message on Instagram if you enjoyed this episode, if you had any takeaways, if you, if it got you thinking in any different way. Thank you so much for listening. I appreciate you guys and I’ll talk to you next week.

Thanks for listening to the Not for Lazy Marketers Podcast. If you love this episode and want deeper support with your marketing, head over to helpmystrategy.com to see how Hirsh Marketing can help take your marketing to the next level no matter where you’re at today. We help our clients scale faster than ever, find hidden leaks in their funnel, experiment with new creative marketing strategies, and help their business explode and be more profitable than they ever dreamed possible. Head over to helpmystrategy.com and see if you qualify for a free strategy audit with Team Hirsh.